HessForGovernor Government Corruption Position Paper - Silent Auction

Shhh! The Auction’s about to begin.

I read somewhere that elections are only pre-sale auctions of the labor of the common man, and now I know it’s true.

Most Arizonans would be surprised to find out that come Thursday, July 18th, 2002, the downtown Hyatt Regency will become the posh scene of a frantic bidding war. It’s not so much that there’s a secret auction taking place that taints the event, but that all of the items for sale belong to you and me. If there were a preview, you’d no doubt find a lot of eye-opening political realities, perhaps a publicly-funded stadium, or two, a light-headed publicly-funded rail scheme, maybe a special project to stabilize a contributor’s company, or some tax-breaks for ‘special’ industries, another alternative fuels bill and most definitely those unalienable rights we hear so much about.

The auction begins precisely at 5:00 PM, so don’t be late. I know this because I was invited to participate, and then invited to not. It seems the hosts realized too late that Libertarians don’t have anything for ‘sale’. Could that be why the Libertarian Party wasn’t asked to be a co-sponsor? Maybe that’s just the way they wanted it.

I should explain. The Republican and the Democrat Parties have teamed up once again with the Greater Phoenix Chamber of Commerce to protect their political territory, not from each other but from Libertarians. Those pesky Libertarians, why do they always have to remind the common folk that the whole of government belongs to them, personally? And why do they keep harping about following the rules, and defining their terms, and protecting the very rights our forefathers died to bequeath us? Don’t they know that the Constitution is simultaneously a living, breathing, evolving thing, and an outdated scribbling on some hemp paper (that’s bad) written by some guys in too-tight knickers?

All five of the invited Libertarians were uninvited because we have nothing for sale, zip, zilch, nada. And that’s why we’re the only ones standing when the others are on their knees exchanging favors for a hefty bloc of votes, or a handsome contribution to be snuck in the back door.

That’s how it’s done and elections are won, the polls have become a formality to placate the masses. And that’s why we don’t fit in with the ‘votes and money-for-favors’ crowd that will scurry about in fine adornment as they jockey to get the best deal they can from their anointed candidates. I’ll warn you though, better bring a hankie cause the spit flies on everything.

The candidates themselves become the evening’s entertainment as they figure out that they can get twice the promised votes by promising the same favor again, no matter, they’re only little white lies, but you get to pay for them. You’ll see the Democrats telling folks that they know how to run your life, raise and educate your children and spend your hard-earned money better than you do. And you’ll see the Republicans there telling you that they know how to run your life, raise and educate your children and spend your hard-earned money better than the Democrats. A Libertarian would speak the obvious, that only you know best how to do these things, and tell you to keep your money.

I hope you’ll make it a point to attend the auction along with the 4,800 influential business player/members who seek to totally control your government. You’ll see the sellers in little glass rooms whispering sweet nothings and promises of love into the ears of eager pocketbooks. But not a single Libertarian, nope not one, because Libertarians don’t sell your rights, they protect and respect them. Thank God that someone stills knows what it means to be free.